Smart in Bed
Smart in Bed

The atlas

Every question,
in the words
people used.

We read 574,663 lines of real discussion, from forums going back to 2001 and in five languages, then counted what people actually ask. Below is all of it. Not our topic list: theirs.

574,663
lines of real discussion read
384
numbers verified at the publisher
197
countries of health data, from WHO
34
books, full text, public domain

How to read this. The count is how many separate discussions raise that theme. The share is who raises it, and it is calculated only from messages where the person said so themselves, so it covers about half the corpus. Where nobody said, we left it blank rather than guess.

Finishing and swallowing

7,226

Taste, options, and how to agree on them first

59% women41% men
  • Is there a way to improve the consistency and smell/taste of my vaginal fluids?
  • Is it a good idea to cum during the blowjob before having sex?
  • vagina tastes spicy?
  • what does the cum tastes like?
Being written from this data

Technique

7,017

The mechanics nobody writes down

68% women32% men
  • Anyone have any tips to make sex with a condom more enjoyable?
  • How do I fix my death grip after trying for a month and my efforts not working?
  • tips I can give my boyfriend on giving head?
  • How do I (18F) give blowjobs when I’m sober?
Being written from this data

Health and risk

2,595

Real numbers from WHO and CDC, not reassurance

50% women50% men
  • should continue oral sex with partner with hpv?
  • Chances of STD from gay oral sex when we use condoms?
  • Giving unprotected oral sex - early oral STI symptoms?
  • Redditors who got the HPV vaccine: how did balance safety and your sex life?
Being written from this data

Depth

2,438

Going deeper without panic, and whether it even matters

70% women30% men
  • Girls sentiment for Deep Throat Bulging a Penis, a kink or other?
  • Sore throat lasted a few days after deep throating, should I get std tested?
  • trans bj, deepthroated then unable to breathe?
  • How many women have you been with that can deepthroat and ballsurf?
Being written from this data

Reciprocity

1,540

When it only goes one way, and how to change that

67% women33% men
  • What do you do with drool during cunnilingus?
  • How do you feel about cunnilingus post orgasm?
  • How to relax enough for cunnilingus?
  • To whom likes cunnilingus?
Being written from this data

Gag reflex

1,180

The reflex, and why fighting it makes it worse

83% women17% men
  • how to stop having such a strong gag reflex?
  • How to give a blowjob with a strong gag reflex?
  • Sexxit, any help for a girl with a terrible gag reflex?
  • Can woman be turned-on by gagging doing deepthroat?

Saying no, and being asked again

1,063

Where obligation starts and consent ends

66% women34% men
  • Does Squirting amount and pressure change depending on stimulation?
  • Is it petty if I refuse to give him a blowjob because he won't lick my clit?
  • How do I talk to my wife about me being unhappy with our sex life without putting emotional pressure on her?
  • Why does my (F20) boyfriend (M20) refuse blowjobs?
Being written from this data

Disgust and shame

901

The part that is not about technique at all

69% women31% men
  • How to ask for oral in a way that isn't silly, clinical or degrading?
  • Is dirty talk good during oral?
  • Do you consider blow job on your knees degrading?
  • Do you consider blow job on your knees degrading?
Being written from this data

Jaw and stamina

426

What gives out first, and how to change that

65% women35% men
  • Any ways to combat a sore jaw during oral?
  • Blowjob to completion w/o jaw pain?
  • GF has TMJ so no blowjobs. Solutions?
  • Is there anyway to make my jaw hurt less when giving a BJ?

What he actually feels

179

The only measurable source of truth in this subject

69% women31% men
  • men, what does head feel like when the person giving it has a tongue piercing?
  • Men, what do you like during a blow job?
  • Men, what made your best blowjob the best one?
  • Women what are the positives and negatives to a blow job?
Being written from this data

Religion and morals

43

For people who were told this is a sin

  • Sex Education/Advice - Is oral sex right or wrong in a marriage, christian/religious or not?
  • Genuinely curious: (For Catholics & Christians) Why is oral sex okay?
  • How is your sex life if you are christian woman post marriage?
  • What Islam Say About Oral Sex And Drinking Of [Wife Milk]?
Being written from this data

Breathing

31

People describe gagging and not breathing as one problem

  • How to breathe during blowjobs?
  • Breathing techniques during blowjobs?
  • How to breathe while getting face fucked?
  • Can’t breathe through my nose when giving head?
Being written from this data

Why we built it this way

Nobody invented
these topics.

Every theme above exists because people kept raising it, and none exists because it sounded good in a curriculum. Two of them were not in our plan at all until the data put them there.

The numbers come from WHO and from our own calculations on CDC microdata, using the CDC’s own method. The quotes are unedited. If we cannot show where something came from, it is not on the site.

That is the whole difference between this and every other page you found today.

The lessons are free and built from this same corpus. The course is what happens when the same method meets a camera.